The Blog I didn’t want to write

So it’s Thursday and I’m four days late on my self-inflicted blog. It’s my own standards and goals that prompt me to write about nothing. Maybe it was my upbringing on Seinfeld that collides with technology so that now I have the means to tell everyone I’m doing nothing. But I’m not, I’m doing something; I am painting and doing some design work. This is what I like to do. Actually I like this blog stuff and it helps me grasp the English language…a little better.

What I’m doing is designing for me. Which happens to be one of the most difficult things in the world. As a graphic designer or as an artist that does commissions, I have no problem creating something for you/them. It’s easy; I listen to the client, take notes, reflect upon it, and then come up with some brilliant solution that I know is right. I then fit my big head through the door and present it to the client. Problem solved, yeah! I get paid, then go to the studio and create. It is not so easy when you are designing for yourself though. It’s like a two-sided conversation in my own head. It gets bad when I refer to myself in the third person. “Jeff what would you like to see?” “OMG what am I selling??” “I don’t know Jeff, what are you selling?” “Jeff”…well your not Madonna or Prince so maybe we should go with “Schaller.”  The arguments continue. I flip through photos of myself for PR, critiquing myself like I’m appearing in GQ. For any other client I’d say,  “You look marvelous in that photo.” Then I would do some weird hand gesture to distract from the dissatisfied look my eyes were really showing. Throw on a drop shadow in Photoshop and drop cap in the first paragraph and Voila! We have a design.

It’s day four and I think I finally have a design. I took myself aside discussed it with Mr. Jack Daniels (he has the most honest opinion) and came up with a solution. Ok, I wish it was like that but it was really a couple of eight hour days moving stuff around, second guessing, then going to some trusted friends… Jack Daniels, Jose Cuervo and Jim Beam. I looked at it fresh. I looked at it upside down. I reversed it in the mirror and then went back to it in the morning. I’m happy to say I am pleased with it and now can sit down and write my blog. 

I want to be a collector too!

The other day I was perusing CaFE, a call for entry site for artists, in the pursuit of gallery exhibitions and request for proposals. I came upon a little gem of a show “2010 Collectors Choice.” For a small fee of $35.00 an artist can send three of their finest works of art to be viewed by 25 unnamed collectors. The collectors choose the art and the artist wins because they get to put their masterpieces in front of the eyes of collectors. Maybe it is a good opportunity for some but I’m not convinced.

I had a great opportunity like this once. My work was being rented at a great venue; the possibilities for me were enormous. The Hollywood crowd, who make millions, would see it. It would have been seen by millions of people. My Gosh! If you do the math, that’s billions of people with a net worth of a gazillion dollars looking at my art. I was beaming, I had the same feeling I get when I buy a lotto ticket and the jackpot is more than the national deficit. 

To make a long story short, it was seen by the Hollywood elite and millions of  television fans. The publicity was great and maybe even priceless, I later found out how much it was worth…the price of a painting. When all the glamour and usefulness of my work was gone, I received part of the leased art collection back. I later came to learn a prominent “art collector” enjoyed one of my pieces and “kept” it for their art collection. I guess I would collect things too if I didn’t have to pay or return the items.

This got me thinking… I was wondering if I could have plumbers come over, pay me $35.00 and I’d let them put a new toilet in my bathroom. Think of all the times I would use it, plus my friends would use it when they came over. Theoretically it could be used over a million times by thousands of people. If I have an open studio, that alone could attract hundreds of people. Then I started thinking what if I worked my way through the yellow pages; next roofers. Do you know how many people drive by my house? These are good perspective customers looking at all the sculptures I have littered through out my yard. They slow down trying to decide if its art or am I the white trash neighbor that is bringing down the value of homes in the neighborhood. Maybe I should skip all the repairs and call a realtor to have them charge people $35.00 to bid on a house owned by an artist whose art work is owned by a famous people with lots of money.